Undercover Pastor

“Can I have some apple juice?” my son Joshua asked.
“Sure,” I responded.
“DAD, HE ALREADY ASKED MOM AND SHE SAID NO!” my older son Johnny yelled.

Yes, Joshua has discovered the fine art of continuing to ask until you get the answer you want.  Dave Barney, a system software director I worked for for a while, called it “toddler syndrome.”  People did it in big technology companies too.  Just keep asking people at all levels of the organization until you find someone who will give the answer you want.  Sometimes even the corporate big wigs would do.  It’s like something out of a Dilbert comic strip:

Corporate VP to software development manager: “Can you get the project finished by the end of this month?”
Software manager: “No, even if we finished today, the testing cycle would last longer than that.”

Corporate VP to software development manager’s boss: “Can you get the project finished by the end of this month?”
Software manager’s boss: “I don’t see why not!”

That got us into a lot of trouble in the computer business.  It gets me into trouble at home too.  “What did you just tell Joshua?”

But it’s most dangerous in our lives as Christians.  People look for churches or small groups or friends who will tell them that whatever they want to do or not do, or to believe or not believe, is OK.  We don’t want to face difficult truths, and today, there is enough variety of belief and practice out there that we don’t have to.

Sometimes that saves us from error or persecution.  Sometimes it lets us continue down paths that harm us and others.

I wish Joshua had been honest with me.  In this case, Mom said no to the request for apple juice because she was taking care of the baby.  It was no problem for me to get the little guy some juice.  But the “toddler syndrome” kept us from getting to the root issue.  I hope more of us can get to that point in our faith too.

Our daughter Lydia arrived in an unexpected way (surprise!)  When we arrived at the hopsital for the scheduled c-section – a bit disappointed – we learned that Eleanor was far enough along that they could induce labor after all.  (We thought that was impossible because she had had a previous c-section.)  Sixteen and a half hours later, the baby was born.

She’s a great kid, and I look forward to getting to know her better.  I definitely have a lot of lessons to learn as the father of a daughter.  (She didn’t come with a manual.)

If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you know that this is the time of year when I get worried about the church finances.  Our church is a transformation congregation that hasn’t completely arrived yet.  Each year, the financial needs grow faster than our financial resources.  Sure, our reach should exceed our grasp, but this is the stuff that gives finance committee chairpeople ulcers.  Pastors too.  This year the gap’s $23,000 (which is more than our savings).

But if you’re expecting me to write about that, you’re in for a surprise.

This year, we have a baby coming – Lydia will be her name.  In fact, she’s coming tomorrow.  She will either come naturally in the wee hours or else at 9:00 a.m. via c-section.  She may have a problem with her kidneys – we’ll have to find out after she’s born.  Also, we’re buying a house – we should be closing escrow next week and moving right after Christmas.  And to qualify for the loan, we had to fix a bunch of stuff in and around our current house and find someone to rent it by the 15th.  (It’s nearly impossible to sell a house right now in our market.)

For some people, that might not be a big deal.  But I only have so much ability to handle things that are out of my control and that still have significant effects on my family, on the church, and on me.  Right now, there’s absolutely no way that I can lay out a plan for the next month.  I don’t even know what all of the variables are.  It hurts my brain when I try to plan…

That makes is much easier to let go.  I don’t know what the church budget should look like.  I don’t know when to plan to move.  I have to plan the house maintenance one day at a time.  I certainly can’t make the baby come or do anything to prevent the c-section (though we did by an exercise ball )  Each thing falls into place as it falls into place.

I’ve been spending lots of time handing things over to God.  It’s a discipline.  I keep handing things over.  Baby, budget, old house, new house…  And God keeps coming through.  Already most of the house projects are done.  We got renters yesterday.  And baby Lydia will be on her way tomorrow.  Meanwhile, I’ll keep handing things over and trusting that God will handle the concerns of that day.  Jesus said it, and I’ve read it a hundred times:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:34

But now, because I have no hope of controlling it all, I’m getting a chance to live it.  And, not surprisingly, Jesus is right.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

Well, baby Lydia is due in two days. We are really looking forward to seeing her, and we’d love it if Eleanor would go into labor right now. Also, we’re buying a house and I’d love to start getting it ready to move into. There’s just too much time.

But there are so many things that need to be done! Before the baby gets here, I have to square away all of the church stuff and make sure the church will be ready for Christmas (I’ll preach Christmas Eve, but I won’t do my usual preparation, coordination, and publicity work.) We also need to find someone to rent the current house. We need to arrange insurance for the new house, and need to find and set up the baby things. There’s just not enough time.

So I’ve really set myself up, eh? Or I could look at it as winning either way.  If she comes now, we get to see her.  Yea!  If she comes later, there’s more time to get ready – also good.

We’ve had lots of people praying that Lydia will arrive when the time is right.  So I’m going to go with that.