Undercover Pastor » God’s love

Pain and Pastors

Steve — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 04:36:40 +0000

The word pastor comes from our job as shepherds. Of course, Jesus is the real shepherd, but we pastors try our best to represent him well as we seek to care for his flock. Jesus taught us that he’s the kind of shepherd who cares if a single sheep goes astray and wanders into danger, away from the flock (Luke 15:3-7). But it turns out that being that kind of shepherd hurts a lot.

Right now in our church, we have people hurting, someone dying, people grieving (including me and my family for the loss of my grandma), people struggling to make it financially, people in difficult relationships, people with ongoing health problems and pain… Lots of stuff. And I’m finding it harder to handle than it ws five years ago. The thing is that these aren’t just “people I know.” They’re friends and part of my church family. When your family is suffering, you hurt too.

Now the trick to dealing with all of this is to realize that I am not really the shepherd. I can reach out, but I can’t heal people’s pain. Only the real shepherd, Jesus himself, can do that. I try to offer my hurting friends and family to Jesus for his care. But he hasn’t made me of stone so it hurts along the way.

Even Jesus himself cried, so I know that I’m not doing it wrong. People teach “detachment” and “strong boundaries,” but if they keep us from loving and connecting with people, they’re not from God. Still, even Jesus had to face situations in which people he loved wouldn’t receive him (e.g., Mark 10:17-22)

I’m hurting right now, but only because I’ve allowed myself to care about people. I do not believe that a life free of pain because it’s free of caring is worthy of a Christian – particularly a pastor. Pain comes with the job and so does joy, in its season.

Thankfulness: Not So Obvious

Steve — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 04:25:21 +0000

Yesterday afternoon, my kids were starting to get a little bit of cabin fever. It was hot, and the air had been smoky for most of the day, but by late afternoon, the air had cleared a bit and a cool breeze was blowing. “Why don’t you go outside and play, Johnny?” I suggested.

“There’s nothing to do!”

“You could ride your scooter or kick the soccer ball or pull weeds or throw your rocket football or play hide-and-seek with your brother or ride your bike or play with the hula hoop or look for bugs.”

“That’s boring.”

We have a great yard right now and a nice patio, and plenty of toys for the kids to play with. But they stop seeing that and see anything familiar as “boring.”

As I was thinking about how sad that was, I realized that I do the same thing! I focus on whatever is missing in my life at this moment and forget or discount the blessings that God has provided in my life. Just like Johnny!

This morning, I asked the congregation to think about their blessings and then asked how many had thought of something that hadn’t recognized as a blessing before. In one service, a bunch of people raised their hands. In the other, almost none.

We have a choice. We can be thankful for the blessings we have or we can decide that they’re

“boring” and concentrate on what’s not right. It’s a matter

of an “attitude of gratitude,” and life’s a lot more pleasant and satisfying that way.

Our God Is a Great Big God

Steve — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:49:24 +0000

My wife woke me up for morning prayer this morning and I went back to sleep. This was a bad choice because there’s a lot going on in my life and the life of our church right now. As a church grows, it can no longer connect everyone “automatically.” It’s a much more conscious and deliberate thing. While our church has had many people come to try us out, not as many find their place these days, and that breaks my heart.

So last night, I was trying to figure out what “I need to do to fix this.” That usually leads me to a bad place emotionally and spiritually so I thought it would be great to get up early with Eleanor and pray. But I didn’t.

When I did get up, I was focused on all of the things everyone needed to do. But in the background of my mind was a message I hadn’t noticed. The kids at church had sung a song for Mother’s Day on Sunday, and it was running in the back of my mind, as a soundtrack for my own internal conversation. “Our God is a great big God. Our God is a great big God. Our God is a great big God and he holds us in his hands.”

God has a plan, and God will hold our church and me as we move ahead in the things that God has planned for us.

The church and the needs of sexual assault survivors

Steve — Tue, 06 May 2008 07:27:53 +0000

Last week, I attended a “round table” of sexual assault survivors and members of the clergy. The honesty of the six women who had survived sexual assault was extraordinary – and extremely difficult to hear. But the hardest part of what they had to say was the part about how their churches had treated them. The horrible things pastors, counselors, and church friends had told these women. If you have time, please take a look at my church newsletter post in the Trinity blog and leave your comments. I think it’s time to shine a light on this whole area in the church, let go of our denial, learn how to treat people as they should be treated, and bear witness to the love and grace of God for sexual assault survivors.

An exercise in God’s love for YOU

Steve — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:44:02 +0000

First a word of introduction. I had the great pleasure of attending the Bayside Church (of Granite Bay, CA) THRIVE 2008 conference. It’s nice that such a huge and wealthy church – that could easily hold a world-class conference just for its own leaders – invites leaders from other churches to come and learn and share fellowship together.

One of this year’s speakers was Brennan Manning, author of The Ragamuffin Gospel. After sharing his rough, broken story and sharing God’s love with us, he gave us homework. I’d like to challenge you to try it.

The Challenge:

Take 20-30 minutes to pray over the following four Bible passages. Be sure to read them enough times, to let them soak in, and to see how God speaks to your heart…

Isaiah 43:1-5
Hebrews 4:14-16
1 John 4:16-19
Psalm 103 (in this one, note that the Hebrew meaning of “fearing” God means to stand in awe of God’s power, goodness, and incredible love)

I found the experience very powerful. See what you experience and share it in a comment if you want to.

God in the Mess

Steve — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:00:45 +0000

Last Sunday, many things went wrong in worship at Trinity.

Now we’re not one of those churches were everything is polished and perfect, but even we are not accustomed to the sheer number of small things that went wrong, from people being out sick to sound system glitches to bulletin information being wrong. And you know what? God showed up anyway! It was a bit like “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” God came even without many of the things that we seem to feel are so necessary. God worked in people’s hearts even though the praise team’s monitors weren’t working right. God showed up in the Lord’s Supper even though we weren’t singing the song that was planned.

There’s a lesson in there. We seem to think that we’re in control of life and that God can only do anything there if we get everything lined up and straightened out. Well, it seems that more often than not, God does the best work when everything that we rely on is messed up.

I hope that gives you hope. Because in both worship and in life, when the night is darkest and the mess is biggest, God is most likely to do something extraordinary.

It’s not your battle – Stand still!

Steve — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:01:05 +0000

Jim Edwards, one of the speakers at the West Coast Presbyterian Pastors’ Conference this week, spent some time this morning talking about various virtues and about how we can make a decision to act in ways that we might not feel yet. An example for me might be to help clean up the kitchen even though I’m dog tired at the end of the day. I don’t feel it, but I know it’s right so I do it.

Well someone asked him about that. Do we have to do it under our own strength? ‘Cause I don’t think I have it in me!

He responded with a story from the chapter 20 of the book of Second Chronicles – not one of the ones I read often, I have to admit.

You see, the enemies of King Jehosophat had gathered considerable forces to take him on – far more than Jehosophat had on his side. It was going to be a very short, one-sided battle. Jehosophat was getting pretty scared so he decided to pray, asking for God’s help. In fact, he had the whole country fast and pray for God’s help.

God told them that they had to go and fight… BUT, this was going to be God’s fight, not theirs:

This battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still, and see the victory of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you. – 2 Chronicles 20:17

Ever feel outmatched by the challenges of life? These words apply to us too. God asks us to show up, but doesn’t ask us to do it all under our own power. In many cases, all we have to do is show up, stand still, and let God handle it.

That sounds like good news, doesn’t it?