Undercover Pastor

In his well-known daily devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes

“Ye know not what ye ask.” Matthew 20:22
There are times in spiritual life when there is confusion, and it is no way out to say that there ought not to be confusion. It is not a question of right and wrong, but a question of God taking you by a way which in the meantime you do not understand, and it is only by going through the confusion that you will get at what God wants.
(You can read the whole devotional at myutmost.org)

I understand that confusion thing.  My life as a pastor and the life of the church I serve are both a bit confusing right now.  Along with some amazing things that are happening, there are some other things happening that are really confusing.  Things are complicated…

I’ve prayed about it, and I have felt reassured.  God seems to be saying that we will be transformed by this confusing journey.  I will be transformed as a pastor – growing into what I am meant to be.  And our church will be transformed as well – letting go of our fear and growing into the mission we have been given.  But first, we have to go through the confusing time and see, in time, how God comes through or us.  In that way, we’ll learn faith – both the church and I will.

God has done this before and I expect that God will do it again.  In the middle of it, it’s confusing and stressful.  Later, it’s clear and peaceful.  I believe that God will continue to do this until it’s not stressful for the church or for me – until we can trust not only after the confusion is resolved, but in the midst of it.  OK, God.  Your will be done!

Edith Whitney at 102

My grandmother died almost two weeks ago now at 102, and I now have the bittersweet task of officiating at her memorial service.  My grandmother didn’t have an easy life.  As a polio survivor, her reaction time was slow and her sense of balance was unreliable.  She lived with a lot of pain at various points in her life.  But her faith kept her going.

Sometimes as a pastor, I find myself trying to package the good news of the gospel in ways that people can hear it.  So many words we use have been co-opted or redefined in ways that turn them into bad news.  But the truth can be so very simple.  My grandmother made it simple.  In a journal my sister gave her there was a place to fill in “something I would like you to know about me.”  Here’s what she led with:

I found Jesus.  Without Him, life would have no meaning.  Someday He will come for me and I will go to my real home.  Don’t grieve for me, but rejoice for I will now be happy. No more pain, tears nor handicaps.

It was so simple for her.  She never doubted that she would step out of this life and into the waiting arms of the Lord when her day came.  Now it has come.  We will shed our tears because there is a hole now in the place she held in our lives.  But she is now free.  Her pain is gone.  Her tears have been wiped away.  I can be happy for her and miss her terribly at the same time.

Please pray for me as I lead the memorial service this Saturday.  It is an honor but also a difficult task.