“God doesn’t hear my prayers” - Johnny and the problem of unanswered prayer
Johnny, my four-year-old son, put into words what a lot of people believe but won’t say. The other day we were just arriving at home after an outing and Johnny just came out and said, “I think my prayers don’t work or God doesn’t hear my prayers.”
“Why do you say that, Johnny?” Eleanor, my wife, asked.
“Because he leads me in temptation,” Johnny replied matter-of-factly, referring to the line in the Lord’s Prayer - “lead us not into temptation.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I keep praying and praying but every day I’m tempted. Like splashing water in the sink.” (Johnny has had some trouble lately where he spends ten minutes playing in the water in the bathroom sink instead of washing his hands.)
When we recovered from the shock that our four-year-old was doing some decent theological thinking, we had to talk to him a bit and assure him that God does hear his prayers, and that some amount of temptation is just a part of life - that even Jesus experienced it.
But Johnny will have more examples of “unanswered prayer” over time. I have found that the most common ways of responding to that problem are not helpful.
1) “It’s God’s will.” True, some prayers aren’t answered the way we’d like because God has other plans. I could pray to win the lottery and God might know that if I won the lottery I’d become an insufferable materialist (it’s just hypothetical God!) But what about a child dying. What does it mean for that to be God’s will? What about terrorists flying planes into the World Trade Center? Is “God’s will” the right answer there? I don’t think so. At some point, we have to acknowledge that we live in a fallen world and that crummy stuff is going to happen as a result of people’s bad choices and the effects of living in a sin-soaked world.
2) To get around the “God’s will” problem, many people decide that God just can’t be bothered with our affairs. God merely “cries with us.” That is part of what God does, but it’s not sufficient. Now God isn’t powerful anymore. God “can’t” help us. That isn’t biblical! How does that mesh with James 4:2 “You do not have, because you do not ask” or the words of Jesus himself, for example, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” I guess you have to “spiritualize” that. But I don’t read the New Testament that way. I read that we serve a powerful God, indwelt by a powerful Holy Spirit.
3) “God answers all prayers, but sometimes the answer is no.” I hate that. In much of his teaching on prayer, Jesus tells us to keep coming to God again and again and again. Why would we do that if there’s some simple yes or no answer process? I believe instead that God answers all prayers - sometimes by changing the world and sometimes by changing our hearts. If we keep coming to God long enough, we will stay in conversation with God and in the end, God will either give us what we ask or will change the desires of our hearts to fit with God’s will. That has been my experience. Not that it happens right away. I’ve had things take years before my constant coming to God actually changes my heart. See Luke 11:5-13 and Luke 18:1-8.
If we reject those three statements, we don’t get any easy answers - God wanted it that way, God can’t do anything about that, God said no. We have to deal with the ambiguity and mystery. And it would be unbearable except for one thing… God loves us. God loves us more than we can understand. If we trust that we serve and pray to an infinitely loving God, then it’s easier to live in a world where things don’t work as we think they should. But we’re called to keep coming, to stay in conversation with God, even to wrestle with God! Our God has chosen to be influenced by us - that’s what prayer is - so we might even prevail!
Keep the faith, friends, and trust that the Lord is with us - even in the really painful and messy times. That’s what we plan to teach Johnny as he grows up.
December 7th, 2007 at 3:42 am
I pray to GOD all the time, and yes he has helped me immensely - as by rights- I shouldnt really be alive- I love GOD, but right now I am very low and I dont think I can cope with my life for much longer- I pray GOD has mercy on my soul and listens to my prayer- at this precise moment in time though- im confused and lost
December 7th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Dear Shantelle,
God is with you even when you don’t feel it. Really. And His love is much bigger than we can possibly imagine.
Do you have a Bible? Check out Psalm 42, which was written by someone going through a really tough time - he doesn’t feel God’s presence right now, but he knows that he will. You can look at it on the Internet at http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2042;&version=72;
Hang in there and don’t give up on the Lord. He has definitely not given up on you.
I will pray for you tonight.
Love in Christ,
Pastor Steve Whitney
July 20th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
3 months my ex left me. Leaving me with so much broken pieces. Most of time, i cried. God counts my tears. Feel so suffering and pain. Dont know how to rebuild my life. Since then, i keep praying to God to ease this pain. As i cant keep it any longer. Furthermore, i still love him so much regardless the bad things he has done to me. To date, i still crying but not as bad as before. i still feel hurt, despair, denial, angry..everything seems not right. I feel i trust God to rebuild my life but some part of me saying that God aware from me. I wish that each of my prayers is answered but none as far as i concern. am i too sin to be answered. maybe i was wrong in my prayers or maybe God doesnt listen to me. How long should i wait. I hate my life now as if i dont deserve happiness…Help me.i feel deeply down.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Dear Suki,
You have gone through a lot, and what you’re feeling sounds very normal to me for someone who has trusted someone and then been treated badly and betrayed…
What I can promise you is that God does love you. We are all sinners, but God loves us anyway. And God listens to every prayer - even the ones that we are afraid to speak out loud. I am praying for you now, and I also want you to hear these words from God’s Word:
Romans 5:6-8 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died
for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person– though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.
You’ve probably heard people quote this one too:
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.
God loves you, and God showed all of us his amazing love in Jesus Christ. Suki, if you already know the Lord, you can simply trust that he has a plan for you and will reveal it to you in time. People do bad things in this world, but God still loves us and is still able to bring good out of our bad choices and actions. But remember that even Jesus himself cried when his friend Lazarus died! Pain when a relationship is broken is normal, and I believe God feels it too. In time, God can and will ease your pain. Keep coming to him, Suki!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
If you haven’t invited Jesus into your heart, this is a great time to do that. We have a promise that we don’t need to be good enough, smart enough, or strong enough to earn the love of Jesus.
Romans 10:13 For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
I will pray for you, and I will send a copy of this to someone on our church staff who knows the pain you’re in. God bless you, Suki. You are not alone and God has not forgotten you. He will lift you up in time because you are his child and he loves you deeply.
Love in Christ,
Pastor Steve
October 21st, 2008 at 5:11 pm
HI, my tears rolled down my face my prayers I beseiged to the Lord. I ask the Lord for his love and comfort and touch, my prayer is for my healing of the pain of life. Each day I come to the Lord to guide me in his ways and ask for direction in God’s mighty way. My soul aches to hear my Lord I wait anxiously. Please Lord hear my prayers.
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:18 am
Most days God seems to bless my enemies and not me. I wonder if I really was not only a mistake with my parents but with Him as well. Yes, I am Born Again. I do not feel or seemed to be overwhelmed by His blessings. I know. You are just going to say “He has me in the palm of His hand”, etc. It would be nice to really see it and feel it. I will keep on trying to be a blessing to others - I hope to really know and feel blessed here instead on waiting until death. Death would be welcome.
November 7th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Alone, it is when we don’t feel or see God doing His work that He is the busiest moving mountains on our behalf. He is getting ready to do mighty things in your life and has a great plan for you. If Satan didn’t know that God has great plans for you he wouldn’t be trying to keep you so discouraged. Pray to God that He might send you a divine connection to remind you/share with you/etc. what a wonderful child of His you are and how proud He is of you. Maybe, I am that divine connection. God loves you and doesn’t want you to shed one tear. He catches everyone of your tears. You are part of His family and you have His DNA. He blessed you before you were born and no curses against you can ever counter act His blessing.